No matter what your job or role is, at work or at home.

Confidence is something others feel from you. We give confidence to colleagues, managers/leaders, subordinates, customers, and our partners, family, and kids.

And it’s essential in leadership and relationships because:

• Confidence builds trust.
• Trust builds engagement and investment.
• Investment is attention and commitment.

But confidence needs to be realistic to build trust.

Confidence is also something we each feel in ourselves – self-confidence. But we often don’t realise that our own self-confidence is a lens through which we see others.

It can taint our view. We can optimistically see through “rose coloured glasses”. Or we can pessimistically see through “carnage visors”. (Old fans of The Cure will know this one).

You can deliberately change your lenses if you’re aware. Edward de Bono‘s Six Thinking Hats is a formal method to help with this when making decisions.

You’re responsible for your own self-confidence and how it affects the confidence you give or feel from others.

• What lens are you looking through?
• How is it affecting your view of the future?
• How does it affect your decisions?
• How does it affect your confidence in others?